Shits and/or Giggles

This is pretty loosely comic-related, but the last post got me thinking about it and I love it, so I thought I would toss it in here. It's humourous AND educational!


The Bayeux Tapestry was made in the '70s --1070s that is-- and depicts the Norman invasion of England under William the Conqueror. It is nearly SEVENTY METRES long, includes about fifty scenes, and was called "the first known British comic strip" by artist Bryan Talbot! 

On a Vessel..?

So, after just hanging around [LOLZ] for almost a thousand years, some guys on the interwebs began using it for inspiration to give the ol' 11th-century twist to various scenes from movies/tv, song lyrics, as well as other memes! 

GET IT???

The possibilities are endless!

Here be thy link to the main article and thus further reading: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/medieval-macros-bayeux-tapestry
And here be thy direct link to the archives of ye images:  http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/medieval-macros-bayeux-tapestry/photos 

This is one of the harder memes to recreate, but I managed to find these resources:

• "King Harold" font! 
• "DIY" Bayeux Tapestry Creator 

Alright, after some effort, here is a Bayeux Tapestry variation done by yours truly. It is inspired by a Monty Python sketch from their amazing film, The Meaning of Life. 

HUZZAH!

Also of interest, the Archaic Rap/Joseph Ducreux meme [another favourite of mine] : http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/joseph-ducreux-archaic-rap


'Til next time, keep fit and have meme.

Review #38: Saucey Chaucey

The Canterbury Tales

Writer: Geoffrey Chaucer [adapted by Seymour Chwast]

Artist: Seymour Chwast

Published: Bloomsbury, 2011

Prior to reading this, I was vaguely familiar with The Canterbury Tales. I only knew that it was some kind of olde timey literary classic. And I had seen this inexplicably hilarious Tom Green bit [click here and hilarity ensues].

Anyway, turns out The Canterbury Tales was written in the late 1300s [waoh!] by Geoffrey Chaucer, a veritable Renaissance man [on both levels!] who started off a servant and a soldier, but upon his death [thought to be the Black Death], was well-known as a writer and a poet.

pray, tell it once more

The Canterbury Tales, Chaucer's best-known piece of work, tells the story of thirty pilgrims on their way to Canterbury to get help from [the entombed] Saint Thomas regarding health issues. As they journey on their motorcycles [a change made by the adapter, I'm assuming, and not an amazing display of precognition by Chaucer], they tell tales to pass the time. Some of the stories draw from Greek mythology, some from Arthurian mythology, some from Biblical mythology, as well as historical figures. Some even feature talking animals; I had no idea the character of Chanticleer, the singing rooster, originated here!

Chaucer acts as narrator to the overall story, as well as one of the travelers, and provides amusing running commentary on the framed narratives being told.

Some of the tales have “moral” lessons, but some are devoid of any moral conclusion whatsoever, or feature a really weird, nonsensical version of “happily ever after”. I'm not sure how much of the confusing stuff is due to the source material or any changes made. Probably both.

There is clearly pro-christian propaganda at some points and some pretty anti-woman sentiment, which is somewhat telling of the times [Chaucer would've fit in perfectly with the Republican base! Bazinga! I'm on fire!].

But there are also anachronisms abound, which give the whole thing an air of silliness, and thus not something to be taken too seriously.

Many of the stories include bawdy details [friars coming out of the Devil's ass! Wow!] and there are a lot of fart jokes, like an olde timey Adam Sandler film might feature.

The art is certainly not of the highest quality [I could draw better than this] and you can really feel the two dimensions. At first, it threw me off, but I realized it was somewhat reminiscent of old woodcuts and tapestry pictures and thus probably intentional.

So, I started off thinking it was ugly and lame, but I ended up liking it. The goofy/self-aware vibe saves the absurdity of some of these tales from becoming annoying, and it is actually hilarious at times.

I will leave you with this:

Review #37: X-TREME NOSTALGIA!!!!11one

X-Men Adventures , Volume 1

Writer: Ralph Macchio [not THAT Ralph Macchio]

Artists: Andrew Wildman & Robert Campanella

Published: Marvel, 1993

My last review about the latest X-Men film got me thinking about X-Men and how they were pretty much my first love when it comes to comics. As a child, one of my first exposures to X-Men was the animated series of those wild, heady 90s. Super powers! Explosions! Bright colours! However, this cartoon was not entirely true to the original comics. The first few episodes gave a new generation of fans a different take on the X-Men's [y'know, seeing as how the team is half females anyway, I shall henceforth refer to them in a more gender-neutral fashion] first meeting with the Sentinels and arch-nemesis Magneto. “Fair enough!” you say.

So, somewhere along the line, I acquired a comic adaptation of those first episodes, which itself is also not entirely true to the source material. “Interesting!” you say. With all these changes with each new edition, this shit is beginning to look like the Bible... and it's just as believable! [ba-dum tsh]

Anyway, the ever-helpful Watcher gives us the introduction, basically making this another “What If” tale. And, as Mr. Watcher states, the differences in this world are fairly subtle. Jubilation “Jubilee” Lee, a mutant teenage girl, is apprehended by Sentinels [giant, mutant-hunting robots], and taken to their leaders, Gyrich [head of the new Mutant Affairs Department and all-around mutant-hating guy] and Trask [the scientist who developed the Sentinels]. Professor X notices that mutants registered with the MAD [ha! Didn't even realize that was the acronym til now!] have been disappearing and sends his X-Team to break into the HQ of the MAD to erase their files. Many shenanigans ensue. The X-People destroy the Sentinel factory and save Li'l Jubes, who is promptly invited to join the team, albeit as a junior member. Trask and Gyrich manage to escape, with some foreshadowing of their plans to build harder, better, faster, stronger robots.

you tell 'em, Cyclops!  

The next bit concerns Magneto and his plans for mutants to take their “proper” place as rulers of mankind. He attacks a missile silo, attempting to launch a bunch of nukes and trigger WWIII, and sends Sabertooth [who the X-Folk – save Wolverine – have not encountered at this point] to infiltrate the X-Mansion under the guise of a wounded mutant in need. The team stops the nukes, but they take in Sabertooth, ignoring Wolverine's protests [always ask yourself: what would Logan do?]. Next, Magneto attacks a chemical plant in order to distract the team so that Sabertooth can make his move, with only poor, naïve Jubilee to keep an eye on him! Oh no!

some truly 90s commentary courtesy of Jubilee

So, as stated above, there are some minor changes from the animated series. We have actual guns instead of lasers [a lot of cartoons use lasers, because... a flesh-burning weapon is less violent than a flesh-piercing weapon...?]. Also, innocent bystanders are clearly killed off by Magneto and we have blood, glorious blood which is largely absent from the cartoon [and the X-Movies, dammit]. It loses some of the goofiness that the cartoon possesses, which makes sense. It retains some of the clumsy dialogue of the cartoon, but we also get to know our characters a bit more thanks to longer exchanges and inner monologues. This is a strength of most non-screen versions.

The art is a little rough around the edges, with some weird angles and proportions here and a few colouring mistakes there. However, I did enjoy the fact that, although derived from a flashy cartoon, the art is rather subdued compared to a lot of stuff from the 90s that is super-over-the-top and EXTREME in the way that Doritos are extreme [Spawn, Ash, endless revamps of classic characters, etc.].

what is this I don't even

One problem is that they don't show any students! I guess it's for simplicity's sake, but Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters seems like it's populated by, what, nine people? Yeesh guys! Throw some background characters in there! The fact that the X-Mansion functions as a school and not simply any old superhero HQ is one of the things that has always set the X-Beings apart from teams like the Avengers or the Funtastic Four. They have their own society and are distinctly separate from the world which they defend. Mostly sad. But mostly noble.

Anyway, I liked this comic, but largely for nostalgic reasons, as it doesn't tie in to X-History as a whole and isn't particularly special enough to stand on its own. So, I would recommend it if you, like myself, were a big fan of the 90s animated series. I actually found ALL of the old episodes on Marvel.com during my research. ALL OF THEM. My next week is pretty much called for.  

Review #36: Movie Review #3: These X-Men Pass With Flying Colours!

X-Men: First Class
Writers: Ashley Edward Miller, Zack Stentz, Jane Goldman, Matthew Vaughn
Director: Matthew Vaughn
Released: 2011








Until I saw X-Men: First Class, I was under the impression that the first two X-Men films were likely as good as an onscreen adaptation of my beloved mutants could get. I was wrong. I sat there, dumbfounded, as scene after scene relentlessly tore down my preconception of what an X-Men movie could be and, in its place, built a towering citadel of hope. Thank sweet Jebus, because  X-Men III had left me pretty skeptical about the future.


Serving as a prequel to the original X-Men trilogy, the film takes place in 1962 and follows the exploits of two mutants: a young, newly Professor-ed Charles Xavier [James McAvoy] and a young, vengeful Erik Lehnsherr [Michael Fassbender]. Charles is seeking to foster good relations between the burgeoning mutant population and the general public, while Erik is seeking to kill the Nazis-in-hiding responsible for his parents' deaths. Their paths cross and they form a common goal with the CIA to stop the evil Hellfire Club, who are hoping to start WWIII in order to kill off most of the human population. Along the way, they find more mutants and form the X-Men.

friends who chess together, stay together

Whoever was in charge of casting made some great calls. The two leads are great, but Fassbender almost steals the show with the smoldering intensity he brings to Erik/Magneto. Kevin Bacon [KEVIN BACON!] is a close second, giving his Americanized version of Sebastian Shaw a menacing charm. The showdown between he and Erik is one of the best scenes in the film. Most of the supporting cast turn solid performances. Except for January Jones. Yes, she is blonde and attractive. Yes, she is in Mad Men, which also takes place in the 60s. Those seem to be the only qualifications that were considered. But she is not playing a housewife this time around; she is playing a supervillan, and she is just not believable as the cold and calculating Emma Frost.

cutest supervillain couple

I've noticed a trend in the X-Men movies: stuff as many different mutants into two hours as possible. This movie is guilty, but not terribly so. A few throwaway characters are present, but nothing like the gong-show that was X-Men III. In any case, the one that pissed me off most was Lenny Kravitz's daughter as some unimportant mutant who has bug wings and can spit fireballs. Who the hell is this chick? Why is she in this movie? Somebody owed Lenny a favour? She really serves no purpose and could have easily been left out. To a lesser extent, the evil-henchman-tornado-guy was also unneeded.

get outta here!

Anyway, might as well get the nitpicking out of the way:

• Emma is supposed to be near-indestructible in her diamond form, yet she gets cracked easily by Erik.
• Banshee and Moira are supposed to be Irish. Also, Moira isn't supposed to be a CIA agent. 
• Havoc is supposed to be Cyclops' younger brother , yet he is a young adult in the 60s.
• Charles' could've stopped Erik with his mind on at least one occasion when he was acting rashly and endangering their mission.

I'll just stop there, as most of my other ranting would have to do with the overall series' messing around with the story/timeline. On to the goods:

• Subtitles! I hate it when the producers assume that the audience is too lazy to read subtitles. Having the appropriate languages in the appropriate scenarios really lends a film legitimacy.
• The chemistry is great. There is a scene with Charles and Mystique [Jennifer Lawrence] which perfectly portrays a mostly-platonic guy-girl relationship. And Charles and EriK have what could have been one of history's raddest bromances, if not for the tragic end.
• There are two awesome cameos that really add to the fun of the film, the first being Hugh Jackman reprising his role as Wolverine for ten seconds. The second was subtle, but perfect: Mystique morphs into an older version of herself for a brief moment, played by Rebecca Romijn, who plays Mystique in the original X-Men trilogy. Gold!

I totally would

There is a real energy in this movie, which reminds me of the energized reboot of Star Trek we saw in 2009. I have noticed at times that film adaptations suffer from what I like to call “Lord of the Rings Syndrome”: basically, between scenes where exciting things happen, there are periods where the characters just kind of shuffle around, giving the pacing an uneven flow. The original X-Men trilogy suffered from this somewhat. The pace of the new one is balls to the walls. There's sort of a James Bond vibe with the whole 60s setting and the Cold War conflict shenanigans. I like how they gave it that historical context, and how the climax is intertwined with the Cuban Missile Crisis.


So, overall, the missteps are mostly comparable to those in X-Men I and II: small character/casting problems, a plot hole or two, but nothing so bad that it throws the whole film off. The lows aren't quite as low, and the heights are equal to, if not greater than, those of the others. I will have to watch the first two films again just to be sure [it's been a while], but I'm pretty sure this one takes the X-cake.

X-cake [obv.]

Review #35: I Accidentally Ripped This Comic and Now Owe the Library Money

The Maxx, Volume 1
Writer: Sam Kieth & Bill Messner-Loebs
Artist: Sam Kieth
Published: Wildstorm, 2003








While the previously-reviewed Orion was wacky in a pseudo-scientific kind of way, The Maxx is wacky in a wacky way.


The titular Maxx is a large, purple-spandexed fellow who fancies himself a superhero and lives with Julie, who is a sort of self-appointed social worker, trying to help out people that are down on their luck. Maxx gets in a scrap with Mr. Gone, a villain with mysterious motivations. Mr. Gone knows why Maxx and Julie are having weird dreams and seems to want to help. But he also seems to be a psycho. We also meet the young, troubled Sarah, who struggles with depression after her father's suicide. She gets caught up the weirdness that surrounds Maxx after Julie tries to help her out, as Sarah's mother is a friend of Julie's. In the last act, we get to see a mutant shark beat the living snot out of Maxx [who takes it rather well, by all accounts] for some reason and then disappear and things return to “normal”.

Our protagonist reminds me somewhat of loveable psycho, Marv of Sin City [I just realized I have yet to review any Sin City... I should get on that]: huge, muscly, violent and easily confused, but a tendency toward protecting the innocent. We never get to see the face of our self-declared superhero, however, as he is always wearing a goofy-looking mask.  


Speaking of easily confused, it is easy to get a bit disoriented about what is what. We go from dream to reality to dream, then both simultaneously. A lot of time is spent in a place called “The Outback”, which seems to exist in Julie's subconscious. It gets a little convoluted.

The layout of the panels gets pretty creative and interesting, and the art style changes based on what is happening in the story, like in the Seuss-esque dream sequence based on a fictional cartoon called “The Crappon Inna Hat”. It becomes more detailed and starts to look like a surreal painting when they introduce Julie's alter-ego, the Jungle Queen. It is also somewhat reminiscent of Spawn [they had the same publisher] at times, especially the way Mr. Gone's massive cape billows all over the damn place.

There are a lot of  funny, little, background details [post-it notes on Julie's wall read “throw out milk” and “buy milk”][and I saw a guy wearing a Butthole Surfers t-shirt!] to dazzle the eye. There's even a visual reference to Neil Gaiman’s Death! We also get a cameo by Savage Dragon [another publisher-mate] and a parody of Calvin and Hobbes in a boy named Henry, with his pet ocelot, Nietzsche.


With its endless references to other comics, music, television and brand names, The Maxx is a bit of a cross section of pop culture. Maxx keeps talking about Cheers and is deeply affected when he is told it's been canceled. It shows how deeply pop culture can become engrained in our lives, to the point that, like the characters' struggle with what is real and what is not, society has a hard time figuring out what actually matters.


I feel like I can't give it a full endorsement because the story [issues 1-6] raises more questions than it answers, but it is so entertaining, charming, and kinetic that I don't really mind so much. I would like to see where it goes from here.