Thursday, October 27, 2011

Review #13: I'm With Coco

Conan: The Hand of Nergal

Writer: Timothy Truman

Artist: Tomas Giorello

Published: Dark Horse, 2008










After the last review, I had the urge for some much-needed action. So, with eager eyes, I turn to the most famous of barbarians: Conan the Cimmerian!


Conan actually got his start in 1932 in Weird Tales, a magazine known for its fantasy and horror stories, and his creator, Robert E. Howard, is considered to be the father of the sword and sorcery genre. Conan didn't even appear in comic book form until 1970, but once the leap was made, he was an instant hit, expanding his fan base. Then, 1982: a young Arnie portrays Conan in the film, Conan the Barbarian, catapulting the character to heights that only Hollywood can bring.

I have never read any Conan in the past, but when someone says “barbarian”, he is the first thing that comes to mind, as I'm sure is the case with most people familiar with pop culture. And, of course, I am familiar with the following famous quote from his film debut:


Beat that, Jane Austen.

Anyway, this tale, The Hand of Nergal, is, in fact, an unfinished work of Howard himself. Writer Timothy Truman, who previously wrote Turok: Dinosaur Hunter [a Conan-like character], took the threads of several Conan story lines and tied them together to coincide with what Howard had written some 80 years prior. Not bad, Truman... but let's see if he pulls it off.

We are given a story-within-a-story [called a “frame narrative” in the biz], as a curious prince's caravan stumbles upon a fallen statue of a man who looks “rough. Dangerous. Real.” Curious, the prince has his creepy adviser do some research into who this mysterious man could be. Silly prince... it's Conan! The creepy adviser finds some old scrolls and thus begins our tale for realsies...

Conan, fleeing trouble from a previous adventure, enters into the service of the army of one Prince Than [often confused with Prince Then]. Their current mission is to escort the Prince's bride-to-be, Princess Ereshka, to his pad for the impending wedding. However, just as the Princess arrives, they are attacked by a large force of undead creatures. Seeking to kidnap the Princess, they instead accidentally take Iniri, a young waif she had recently befriended.

Conan, Ereshka and some old guy are the only survivors of the attack, and they give pursuit. Turns out, the evil warlock behind the ghouls and the kidnapping is Prince Than's own sickly adviser, Atalis. It seems Atalis had promised to grant him eternal glory, but, like evil advisers are wont to do [I hope the prince in the framing story takes note], Atalis took it TOO FAR! Apparently, eternal glory means serving as a host body for Atalis as he helps his evil death god, Nergal, conquer the world. Dammit Atalis, THAT WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL!

Meanwhile, a former companion of Conan's, Nestor the Gunderman, has returned from the dead for some reason and is hunting down the Cimmerian. Everyone's paths cross in a big showdown with some tentacled beastie in Atalis's tower.

I liked this comic, but it didn't blow me away or anything... I actually expected something a little more epic. I learned, however, that one of the main differences between sword and sorcery and high fantasy is that SAS tends to focus more on the individual [Conan], while HF tends to have a more epic scope [think LOTRish].

The old man character didn't really add anything to the story, hence why I didn't bother learning his name. And neither does the Nestor-back-from-the-dead story, although he is cooler than the old man.


I enjoyed the artwork, as it provided a good dose of gore. The Cimmerian rips through his foes with reckless abandon, innards flying everywhere. The undead foes have a demonic twist to them, looking like bloody, puss-dripping, zombified orcs. Atalis inhabits Than's body through the ol' still-beating-heart-swap. All very appropriate for the approaching Hallowe’en!

I was previously unaware of the depth of the Conan mythos. Howard mapped an entire version of Earth as it would've been circa 20 000 BC [the fictional “Hyborian Age”]: Europe, Asia, Africa and Australia are all one continent, fleshed out with a wide variety of kingdoms and peoples that mirror our own world [Conan's homeland, Cimmeria, being one of those lands].

Also, according to the afterword by Truman, the name "Nergal" actually comes from the ancient Epic of Gilgamesh and is also mentioned in a 2000-year old letter from the king of Cyprus to the king of Egypt. Crazy. It adds to the loose historical basis for Conan. I am a fan of historical fiction, having written some myself in Creative Writing in college a couple years back... check it out!


Oh, fun fact: President Obama is apparently a big Conan fan and has actually been featured in his own Conan-like mini-series, Barack the Barbarian.

stimuli! get it? oh, man...


Thursday, October 20, 2011

Review #12: 19th -Century England Sucks


Pride & Prejudice

Writer: Jane Austen [adapted by Nancy Butler]

Artist: Hugo Petrus

Published: Marvel, 2009







Unfortunately, this is the zombie-free version.

I have never read any Jane Austen in my life. I saw the movie Little Women when I was a little boy. OK, a googling reveals that Little Women was written by Louisa Alcott 50 years after Austen died. Who knew?

Anyway, I'm a fan of expanding my horizons, so I figured I would pick up this proto-chick lit and see what it's all about.

Meet the Bennets! We have the Mr. and Mrs. and their five charming young daughters: Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, Kitty and Lydia. This gaggle of girls seems set on marrying whoever is “in possession of a good fortune” [not as a group, of course, but that would probably make everyone's lives easier]. Enter: Charles Bingley, a good-looking, good-natured, rich young gent in possession of a funny name. Swoon! go the Bennets... Elizabeth is intrigued by Mr. Darcy, Bingley's BFF, but he seems cold and asshole-ish.

Bingley expresses interest in Jane and begins the long, arduous courting process. Dances are held. Dinners are eaten. Things seem to go well until BAM! Bingley's manipulative sister tries to get him to forget Jane and court Mr. Darcy's sister, because she wants a tighter connection to Mr. Darcy so she can eventually have him for herself. Bitch! Also, Mr. Darcy goes along with it because he is a closet romantic and doesn't see a connection between his friend and Jane, and because he finds the rest of the Bennet family to be uncouth [seriously though, Mrs. Bennet alone would make me rethink marrying into this family].

Mr. Wickham, a soldier [ooo! A man in uniform!] at the local garrison prances into town and hits it off with Elizabeth. It seems he and Mr. Darcy have beef from a mysterious incident in the past. Are they gonna duke it out? Fisticuffs? Maybe have an awesome duel and shoot at each other like real men? Nope! Instead, they decide to scowl at each other from a distance.

Oh, also, Mr. Bennet's cousin, Mr. Collins shows up earlier looking to wed one of his... first cousins, once removed [I had to look that up]. Just a little inbreeding, as was fashionable at the time. Mr. Collins takes an interest in Elizabeth [this is like 19th -century Something About Mary] but she rejects his advances because, baby, he can't dance.

He actually asks her to marry him, but she responds with this look:

not what you want to see after your proposal

“No biggie!” says Mr. Collins, as he goes on to marry Elizabeth's best friend, Catherine, instead. What a weird society.

Mr. Darcy eventually reveals that under his crusty exterior, he actually really likes Elizabeth! Aw! She, however, tells him off, because of the aforementioned meddling in her sister's affairs and because Mr. Wickham convinced her that Mr. Darcy was an asshole.

Mr. Darcy writes Elizabeth a 2-page love letter [aw!] laying out his side of the story and convincing her that it is Wickham, in fact, who is the asshole. He is seeking to marry any woman just for her inheritance! She ignores Mr. Wickham's charms from then on, which inadvertently leads to him switching his sights to Little Lydia. Lydia ends up running off with Wickham [which is fucked, 'cause she's 16 and he's in his late 20s, but hey, those were different times!], and the entire county is aghast. Not at the age difference, but at the fact that they are unwed. Weirdos.

Eventually, they are found and brought back in order to make things official and save the family from embarrassment. What a terrible era! Marriage was such a huge deal! Everything gets wrapped up nicely with Jane and Bingley/Elizabeth and Darcy ending up together. Huzzah.

Analysis: the cover is funny, being a send-up of Cosmo-esque magazines, which have little to no literary value. “How to CURE your BOY-CRAZY SISTERS!” and “17 Secrets About SUMMER DRESSES” they boast. And yet... no trace of this humour is found anywhere else in the book. The writing in the story itself retains its archaic original form. These two styles seem at odds with each other. The cover is almost false advertising.

I guess the adapters were trying to find a happy medium between 19th-century literature and modern comics for the kids of today, kind of like Baz Luhrmann's modernized Romeo + Juliet, which kept the original dialogue. Actually, the overwrought writing sometimes makes me feel like I'm reading Shakespeare, but at least Billy had sword fights and bawdy jokes. This shit is too prim and proper for me.

I found myself confused at times by some of the language and some of the customs of these strange, 19th-century British people. As I mentioned before, this society weirds me out. They have this strange habit of being very forward about things but, at the same time, hiding behind formalities and all that jazz. “Good sir, you are surely acting in the manner of male genitalia of the largest proportions, so I shall bid you good day!” *doffs top-hat* This Wickham guy is a huge turd, but nobody does anything! He basically weasels his way into the Bennet family so he can get a chunk of inheritance pie, half the members of the family hate him, but they all sit around and let it happen. Kick his ass, Mr. Bennet! ...No? Darcy? Anyone? They deserve every awkward family dinner they get.

And don't even get me started about Mrs. Bennet.

Also, I have theorized that Mr. Darcy is the reason that girls dig assholes: ladies think their guy will turn out to be nice under the surface, but they are often sadly mistaken. Sometimes an asshole is just an asshole.

Actually, at first I thought Wickham was a douche bag for the whole marrying just for inheritance thing, then I realized...That's pretty much what Catherine did. That's pretty much what most people are doing in that day and age. So, can't fault the player for playin' the game!

So, the artwork was good [not great, noticed a few mistakes], the story was somewhat engaging and my horizons were slightly expanded.

Mostly, I was bored.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Review #11: Lantern Rainbow All the Way


Blackest Night

Writer: Geoff Johns

Artist: Doug Mahnke

Published: DC, 2010





The last review dealt with space cowboys and space cops and other space jobs. This review is about space cops of a different sort: THE GREEN LANTERN CORPS!

For those of you unfamiliar with the GL mythos, the Corps was founded millenia ago by powerful aliens called the Guardians with the intention of bringing order to the universe. The Guardians created the Green Power Rings, which harness the willpower of their bearer and are able to create “green solid-light constructs” of anything the bearer can imagine, and actually “no hard upper limit to the ring's capabilities has yet been demonstrated”. Members are chosen based on their ability to overcome fear. Earthman Hal Jordan was given one such ring and became … GREEN LANTERN, EARTH SECTOR 2814. The GL Corps has jurisdiction over most of the known universe, dividing it into 3600 sectors patrolled by over 7000 GLs. That's quite a few insanely powerful space cops, don't you think?


Although never a huge Green Lantern fan, I do like the concept of a tool that allows the bearer to basically create anything that comes to mind. I can only imagine what I would do with such a ring! Har har. Anyway, I've always enjoyed his appearances in the few JLA comics that I have in my possession.

There is a bit of back-story for this one... please, ring-bear with me.

In recent DC history, , a high-profile GL, rebelled against the Guardians and embraced the power of fear, creating his own “Sinestro Corps” [real original]. This new Corps uses Yellow Power Rings, as yellow is the colour of fear. Also, if your name is, Sinestro, you are pretty much destined to become a villain.

Following this , other Corps started popping up, including Orange, Blue, Red, Violet and Indigo. A different emotion powers each of these different Power Rings: orange is avarice, blue is hope, red is rage, violet is love and indigo is compassion.

Just had a funny thought: it would be hilarious if one of the Corps was powered by sadness. I picture a bunch of depressed space cops laying in bed all day.

Anyway, a war of sorts starts among these factions. This is when the Blackest Night story arc and this trade paperback begin.

So, we are introduced to a fellow called Willam Hand, AKA the Black Hand. Besides sharing that name with a Serbian secret military society, he is an old GL villain who has recently been re-jigged for a lead role in this story arc. He describes his childhood and the origin of his morbid fascination with death [his family owned a funeral home], which led to a life of supervillany. In the first pages, we see Hand return to his family home and kill them, then himself. He is promptly resurrected by the rogue Guardian, Scar, who was killed and resurrected recently herself. They are both now serving a new master.... DEATH!

Mr. Hand, mid-suicide

So, following this, mysterious Black Power Rings start showing up all over the universe, resurrecting the dead and investing them with power greater than that of any other Lantern. On Earth, Hal and are confronted by their dead fellow JLA-member J'onn J'onnz, now a Black Lantern, who proceeds to beat them senseless.

Meanwhile, somewhere in space, John Stewart, co-Earth Sector 2814 GL, is witness to an entire dead planet being reborn as a sort of “home base” for the BLs. He is attacked and retreats only to discover that the planet is approaching Earth and bringing an army of BLs with it.

It is discovered that the BLs can only be defeated by a GL working in tandem with a Lantern of any other colour. Hal and Sinestro put aside their differences [sort of] and collect a veritable rainbow coalition of Lanterns to stop the scourge of BLs that have descended upon Earth.

The climactic final battle is unfortunately cut short and I am told it will be concluded in the next issue. Huh? I thought the point of these trade paperbacks was to put story arcs into easily buy-able and digestible form. And along those lines, there are definitely chunks of the story missing between each issue that is included. Why aren't they including the whole thing? Greedy corporate bastards, I tell ya! #occupyDCcomics

So, overall I like this story. The artwork is super-detailed and imaginative [this is required, given the nature of the rings' abilities] and the colours are awesome. Whenever a BLs POV is shown, There is this really cool effect of whoever they are looking at being coloured with the emotions they are feeling. Also, the last issue features a ton of sweet splash pages.

trippy

We all know the “comic book death” cliché: as Otto from the Simpsons once sang, “Radioactive Man is dead / but he'll be back next week” [see review #4]. It's almost become a given that a superhero will die at least once in their career. Even my beloved Batman has “died” recently, only to have it revealed that he was instead “lost in time”, so they can have some hokey caveman-era Bruce Wayne dressed in prehistoric batskins cracking skulls with a hatchet. It's a little much.

So, I thought it was clever how they worked that in to the whole Black Lantern modus operandi. The Black Lantern rings seek out heroes who have died, but they also seek out heroes who have cheated death [AKA a shitload of them]. It's a funny little bit of acknowledgment, kind of like last season's South Park story arc that acknowledged Kenny's endless cycle of [literal] rebirth.

There is another “self-aware” moment near the beginning when the Flash and Hal are discussing how Hal maintains his secret identity when his mask is so tiny and they bring up Superman's “obvious” secret alter-ego as Clark Kent and we are treated to this hilarious exchange:

I'm all for darkness in comics, but that doesn't mean they don't have to be fun either, and this one has good doses of both.

There is a part near the end when it is revealed that when the Black Lanterns rise, individuals can be “deputized” as Lanterns because of some prophecy blah blah blah. I thought that was a bit lame and kind of just an excuse for some fancy costume redesigning. Also, Flash in a blue outfit looks surprisingly similar to Captain America.

Oh, and by the way, the Blue Lanterns have the LAMEST BATTLE CRY OF ALL TIME: “All will be well!” Shoot me now.

I have a wee hunch that part of the inspiration behind this was that DC was a little jealous of Marvel's success with Marvel Zombies and they wanted a piece of zombie pie. At least they managed to make their take on zombies work into their world as it existed, rather than create yet another goddam alternate reality.

So, this gets the Thor Blondal stamp of approval [hey, I should actually design a Thor Blondal Stamp of Approval], with an asterisk about the excluded plot points/cliffhanger ending.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Comic Book Bulletin!

So recent big news for all fanboys & girls out there:

THE AVENGERS TRAILER HAS BEEN RELEASED!

If you haven't seen it by now, a) what is wrong with you? And b) just press play on the video below.



So, I'm pretty excited about this. I've never been a huge Avengers fan, despite my namesake's involvement, but it is awesome to see such massive effort going into a comic book film. They signed all these guys for multiple-picture deals in order to weave this story together over Iron Man, Hulk, Iron Man 2, Thor, and Captain America. Stupid Ed Norton had to drop out. Ah, well.

I LOVELOVELOVE Sam Jackson as Nick Fury. When Marvel launched the modernized Ultimates title, they fashioned the new Fury in Jackson's image and it is awesome [but not surprising given his love of comics... see review #10] that he signed on.

I think perhaps there has been a recent renaissance of sorts in the comic-book-movie industry... not sure when it started, but these movies are finally being made by people who truly love comics. In a recent interview about playing the new Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield said that it is something he has dreamed of his whole life. And judging from the quality of the recent franchise reboots [Batman, X-Men], I have faith in what the future holds.

Monday, October 10, 2011

BONUS HALLOWE'EN SPECIAL POST



Hello valuable readers. It's that time of year again... that special time of year when people put on costumes and it has nothing to do with role-playing in the bedroom to spice up a stagnant relationship!

Comic book costumes have always been common whenever Hallowe'en rolls around, and they have grown exponentially with the popularity of comic book movies. Batman and Spider-Man have long been staples of every Hallowe'en party, but other heroes have started to creep up. The most recent wave of comic book movies has made Thor, Captain America and Green Lantern all hot commodities this year. For all you ladies out there, you can be Slutty Thor, Slutty Captain America or Slutty Green Lantern. JUST KIDDING. I honestly have no idea what comic book characters are popular for women right now. Wonder Woman is always a safe bet, and – despite the misleading name – the X-Men roster is full of positive female role models! One friend of mine is going as Sailor Moon, which leads me to a popular trend amongst young adults: group themes*. Seeing Sailor Moon at a party is cool. Seeing ALL of the Sailor Scouts? KILLER KRAZY KOOL!


this is a Green Lantern costume in the same way that a Twinkie is food


Comic book franchises usually have large casts and are thus perfect for a group theme. When we were freshly legal, my friends and I did a Justice League of America theme, which turned out great, except for the one guy who was randomly a Tetris block. We did Nintendo a few years back, I 've been eager to do Star Wars for awhile, and this year we are paper-maché-ing ourselves into Ninja Turtles. It's gonna be awesome.

If you want to go a little more obscure and/or ahead of the curve [AKA “hipster”], the soon-to-be released The Adventures of Tintin should be right up your ally. My hip brother and his hip wife are going as Thomson and Thompson, so they will totally match! Isn't that cute.

Transformers are pretty popular right now, despite the incredibly shitty movies that just keep getting made, but you probably won't see too many costumes because of the level of effort that goes into making one. My brother once told me of a friend of his that made a Transformers costume that actually transformed into a car when he crouched down. I hope that dude won something.

One extremely overdone costume that keeps coming back [besides Jack fucking Sparrow] is Heath Ledger's Joker. Please, if you're going as the Joker this year, at least switch it up by being the Cesar Romero or Jack Nicholson version.

I'm a fan of variety, so the less repeat/store bought costumes and more custom jobs out there, the better. Let's make this the BEST HALLOWE'EN EVER!

And finally, valuable readers, if your costumes are ready a week early, and you want to get a head start on your holiday festivities, my good buddy Harmon [the aforementioned Tetris block] and his lady Caroline are having their wedding social on October 22nd at 3600 De Vries Ave in East St. Paul, and it has a COMIC BOOK THEME! So if you are a fan of comic books, socials, or Harmon & Caroline, come on down! Maybe, if you're lucky, I will get really drunk and you can see me attempt to break dance with a shell on my back.


*Group themes are a lot of fun, but they do require that you have friends.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Review #10: Samuel L. Jackson has had it with these motherfucking cowboys on this motherfucking moon!


Cold Space

Writer: Samuel L. Jackson & Eric Calderon

Artist: Jeremy Rock

Published: 2010, BOOM! Studios







Vanity projects are a staple of the rich and famous. Hollywood is rife with 'em. From Ben Affleck's critically acclaimed [somehow] The Town, to the pyramids of ancient Egypt, those that can afford to shell out the funds for that kind of shit often do, to mixed results. Personally, I found The Town to be unrealistic, melodramatic and self-important, but the pyramids seem to have stood the test of time [ha!].

Anyway, hold on to your butts: here we have a Samuel L. Jackson vanity project, in the form of a comic book miniseries. Pretty modest as far as vanity projects go. Hey, at least it's not an attempted music career.

Cold Space is, as Jackson writes in his comic's introduction, a “space western” [figured I'd jump from a “traditional” western from the last review to one of the “space” variety]. It takes place in the year 4012 [wow!] on “the frontier of space”. Mulberry [Jackson, basically], a gun-for-hire, is being pursued by SPACE COPS and ends up crash-landing on an “unidentified moon”. Seeing as the moon has inhabitants, I'm not sure why it remains unnamed. Laziness?

Our protagonist is taken prisoner by the “Moon Motorcycle Gang”, another fine example of the writing we are dealing with. Mulberry escapes, makes his way to the local kingpin of crime, Mario Waid, offers his services and is promptly hired.

Being the devious dude that he is, Mulberry also meets with the opposing crime lord, in an attempt to play both sides. The shit hits the fan, however, as Mario's syndicate is taken over and the new leader makes it his first priority to take out all the competition in town. A large brawl ensues at the local moon saloon.

Naturally, the space cops show up as Mulberry is making his escape, but his ass is saved by the smitten female leader of the Generic Name Bike Gang. It just struck me that the closest thing the book makes to a statement is that police are petty and incompetent.

Although it cuts to the chase [literally!] and doesn't waste any time on exposition, that becomes more of a problem than an asset. The book is fairly bare-bones and the “recaps” at the beginning of each chapter come across as super-repetitive. When not much happened in the last 24 pages and you spend a page recapping that lack of happenings, it seems unnecessary.

[my apologies for the crappy scan...]

Jackson and Calderon have previously worked together on the animated show Afro Samurai, which I'll admit I have not seen, so I can't really tell if Cold Space is a step up or down. Apparently Calderon is Emmy-nominated, but I was really not impressed by any of the writing. I kind of think award shows are a joke anyway.

The artwork is clean, but lacks any real personality. A tale of space cowboys could really use some true grit.

I noticed that some characters would have some cool device or be wearing something cool for seemingly no reason other than it looks cool. Some character names [Patience, Tommy2] seem to exist just for the sake of bad puns. There is some extremely nonsensical sexual tension between our protagonist and the big-breasted biker bimbo. I found that the story relies too heavily on Jackson's persona, making it entertaining but not really interesting.

Overall, to me, it seems like not a helluva lot of effort went into this comic. Cookie-cutter plot, one-dimensional characters, clichés abound... The most refreshing part of the whole thing is when Sam “Mulberry” Jackson does his trademark bad motherfucker bit, but even that is old hat. The man has been doing it for pretty much his entire career. I mean, he does it well, but it is far from new ground. Jackson is almost a cliché of himself at this point.

But you can't fault the man for liking comics and wanting to create his own. In his [fairly hilarious] introduction, Jackson writes about his childhood love of comics that has followed him to manhood, often slipping into badass mode. You can really hear the attitude in his voice as you read. It leads me to wonder if Jackson's badassery isn't a character he puts on. Maybe it's just who he is as a person. If that is the case... he's a terrible actor.


Monday, October 3, 2011

Review #9: The Good, the Bad & the Fabulous!

Rawhide Kid

Writer: Ron Zimmerman

Artist: John Severin

Published: Marvel, 2003








Here we have another genre that I have shied away from. Having been raised in Selkirk, Manitoba has instilled within me an aversion toward all things “cowboy”. Cowboys in Selkirk were mostly dickhead posers who wished it was Dauphin Countryfest all year round. Just move to Calgary already. Sorry if you are a dickhead poser and reading this. Please “follow” my blog! :D

Anyway, the Rawhide Kid is a fictional Old West gunfighter who made his comic book debut in 1955. He was depicted as a small-but-formidable underdog who gave bullies and villains a taste of their own medicine across the wild frontier. Later, he became increasingly flashy and slapstick in his methods, perhaps in an effort to remain appealing in a market that was losing interest in Westerns and becoming more and more dominated by superhero titles. The last appearance of this original incarnation was 1985.

Fast-forward to 2000, and he is revamped in a couple of more historically accurate mini-series. Then in 2003: CONTROVERSY! The kid is once again revamped, this time as a gay cowboy. This mini-series is published by Marvel's “adult” imprint, MAX, and features a “Parental Advisory Explicit Content” label. Ooo!

So I got my sweaty little hands on the newly-fabulous Rawhide Kid trade paperback, entitled “Slap Leather”, and I will now process it for you fine folks.

In a small town called Wells Junction, there is trouble brewing. A notorious gang of bandits, led by Cisco Pike, shows up and starts a ruckus. The local sheriff, Matt Morgan intervenes, but he and his deputy are shot. Morgan survives – thanks to the sudden appearance of one Rawhide Kid – but his deputy does not.

The Rawhide Kid becomes Morgan's new deputy, much to the townspeople's relief, as Morgan has proven to be somewhat ineffective as a sheriff. Meanwhile, Pike's gang gains a few ethnic stereotypes eager to bag the Kid for a fifty-dollar bonus.

Actually, I now realize that the plot of this five-issue series is remarkable uneventful. I just described the events of the first two issues and the next three are simply an extended confrontation with the Pike gang. Ho-hum.

So, yeah, the Kid saves the day with his skills and wit and charm and impeccable fashion sense. They actually make him out to be a little TOO perfect, like they are overcompensating. “Look how tolerant we are! We made a gay character with zero flaws!” Yes, but flaws are what make characters interesting and relatable.

Other things that pissed me off:
  • I wasn't a huge fan of the artwork. Too meat-and-potatoes for my taste.

  • The aforementioned ethnic stereotypes... it's just lazy writing, people!

  • The painfully unsubtle [and unnecessary] stab at George Bush II... is Marvel just going for extra left-winger points?

Enough cons for now, onto the pros. There were some legitimately funny parts, like the anachronistic pop culture references. The Laura Ingals reference is chuckle-worthy. Also, the Taxi Driver part was good. If you've seen Taxi Driver [and you really should], you know what I'm talking about.

The funniest scenes are probably when Pike and his gang get into arguments about a) his incomprehensible dirt-maps and b) the nature of God.

One thing that stood out amongst the crowd of stereotypes was the black lesbian outlaw... pretty sure that is not an established stereotype. Yet, they kind of sell her out at the end by making her switch sides and become Morgan's newest deputy. “We don't hate black lesbians! Black lesbians are good guys!”

Anyway, let us not continue to beat around the bush: what the hell, Marvel? “Explicit Content”? Sure, the comic is violent, but not anymore violent than the average issue of Wolverine. Sure, he's a gay stereotype.. nothing terribly offensive about that. After all, stereotypes are just an exaggeration of reality. But why the parental advisory? There is zero nudity, no cussing, some guns and blood. They say “rape” once or twice. Mostly, there are a bunch of lame double entendres.

I think this has to do with the ass-backwards North American tradition of being pro-violence but anti-sexuality. I'm not sure, but I would guess that violence is more detrimental to society than gay innuendo.

The good ol' boys over at Cracked have my back on this one: http://www.cracked.com/article_18502_the-5-most-unintentionally-offensive-comic-book-characters.html

I'm kind of wondering what the reaction of the average gay dude would be to this comic. I guess they have to deal with stereotypical depictions of gays in media all the time, and also with overtly politically correct folks constantly getting outraged on their behalf. So if you're gay, and you have an opinion, feel free to weigh in with a comment in the section below! Or, you know, if you're straight, too. I don't discriminate.

Anyway, to conclude, this comic has good intentions. However, good intentions don't make up for a dull plot, sub-par artwork, misguided messages and toothless “edge”.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Shits and/or Giggles


Just a little something I whipped up on pixlr.com! It's a free photoshop-esque site. COOL.