Review #20: Constant Hell

Hellblazer: All His Engines

Writer: Mike Carey

Artist: Leonardo Manco

Published: Vertigo, 2005

I figured it would be appropriate to segue from the works of Stephen King to this similarly supernatural series, Hellblazer.

I have heard much about John Constantine, the protagonist of said series. He was played by THE Keanu Reeves in his own Hollywood action/horror flick, which a few friends have recommended [and which also came out in 2005]. He is apparently a certified badass with his chain-smoking, wearing trench-coats and literally making deals with devils. John is a sort of occult detective and has a vast knowledge of magic, although he uses it sparingly, mostly relying on his wits to get him out of the fucked up situations he gets himself into. Think of him as Fox Mulder on steroids.

So, Chas Chandler [which could be an homage to Jim Sterenko's Chandler, who is, in turn, an homage to detective-fiction authour Raymond Chandler], a close friend of John's, has a problem: his granddaughter, Tricia, is in a mysterious coma and doctors have no idea why. Also, similar cases of “mystery coma” have been popping up all over England [John’s a Brit]. John seeks help from an associate who is able to enter Tricia's mind and he finds that her soul has been taken by a demon working out of Los Angeles

John and Chas travel to L.A. to meet with the demon to try and work out a deal. Once there they discover that the States has been hit by the “missing-soul-coma” as well. This demon, Beroul, has been busy. He is quite the ambitious fellow, and is trying to start up a literal “hell on Earth” out in Santa Monica, complete with extra-dimensional torture chamber for all the souls he is acquiring.

By keeping Tricia hostage, Beroul coerces John into doing his dirty work by dealing with some rival demons that have also set up shop in L.A. Realizing he's in over his head with this one, John seeks help from an ancient god who has interest in the Los Angeles area. John must play each faction against the others in order to save the girl's soul.

My first meeting with John Constantine went quite well. He is indeed a badass, playing “chicken” with not just the life of a ten-year-old girl, but with her eternal soul. This is not, however, something he does for shits 'n' giggles. John often puts himself in the most dangerous position: in this story, he attempts to use his own soul as a bargaining chip. Although extremely dangerous, his methods are effective. The results are what is important, not the means to the end.

It kind of reminds me of the show The Shield, as John's wheeling and dealing is similar to that of corrupt detective Vic Mackey. With each new deal, the stakes get higher and the tension rises, and it seems like it's all the protagonist can do to stay one step ahead of his foes.

Despite the required suspension of disbelief, there is a gritty realism to Hellblazer. The dialogue is great, with a refreshing amount of “fuck!” and Beroul recognizing a Star Trek reference. The behaviour of the characters is reasonable, given the circumstances. Chas flies off the handle often, understandable with his granddaughter hanging in the balance. And one of my favourite scenes: Beroul doing coke, like any old Hollywood high-roller.

The art is great. John looks like a more-haggard-than-usual Billy Idol. I have no idea why they got Keanu to play him in the movie. The demon-y and hell-y parts are fittingly disturbing, looking like something out of Hellraiser [fun fact: before its 1988 debut, the series was originally going to be called Hellraiser, but Clive Barker beat them to the punch with his 1987 film].

So: I highly recommend Hellblazer and its anti-hero, Mr. Constantine. I look forward to reading more of his wily adventures.

Review #19: Stephen and Marvel are Superfriends

N.

Writer: Stephen King [adapted by Marc Guggenheim]

Artist: Alex Maleev

Published: Marvel, 2010

Stephen King and Marvel have some kind of partnership going on... and I like it. It seems King is actually creative/executive director of the adaptations that Marvel is doing of his work, which is pretty cool. Apparently, this was first adapted into a series of “webisodes”, which I should check out.*

N. is based on a short story of the same name in which we learn, in the first few pages, that a psychiatrist named Jonathan Bonsaint has recently killed himself. The suicide came after a particularly troubled patient entered his life, one Nathan N. Nance. Nathan had been suffering from OCD, which seemed to have manifested after he stumbled upon a mysterious circle of stones in a field near the fictional town of Motton, Maine [a lot of King's stories take place in Maine, as he grew up there]. “N.”, as Jonathan refers to him, came to believe that the circle of stones was some kind of hole in reality, and that he had become it's “gatekeeper”, so to speak.

Charlie, a childhood friend of Jonathan and his sister, Sheila, reaches out to her upon hearing of her brother's death. Sheila has found and read Jonathan's patient case study on N., and she sends it to Charlie, who is a medical expert for American News, to get his take on how N. may have affected Jonathan's suicide. But Sheila and Charlie have begun to be affected by this strange case themselves... WHAT COULD BE GOING ON?

I haven't read King's short story, so I can't compare it to the original, but I really like this comic. It has a wonderful, ominous vibe. The characters keep thinking that Nathan is merely suffering from some sort of delusion, and the supernatural aspect is left looming in the background. The true nature of the “hole in reality” is never fully explored, providing lovely tension throughout the story.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a fan of “meta” or self-referential stuff. I like little winks at the reader, and the cleverer, the better. There is a bit of dialogue toward the end where Charlie is pitching an article about what he thinks is a new phenomenon [“contagious obsessive compulsive disorder”] and he says “forget article, there might be a book in this,” to which his boss wryly responds: “a short story, at any rate.”

Most of the story is told in a series of letters, journal entries, and the case study, so it jumps around chronologically a bit and provides various perspectives of what has occurred. Newspaper clippings and Charlie's aforementioned article are shown, and even a Google map of the infamous field [and yes, I confirmed the map's accuracy], providing more depth to the world being created here.

The art has a photo-realistic quality that I like, and a real sense of texture. The attention to detail is great, with desks covered in clutter, windows full of posters, faces creased with wrinkles. I just noticed a Marvel comic in the background of one scene! How's that for self-referential?

I should review a comic about blogs for my blog about comics.

*[FYI, webisodes can be found here!]

Review #18: Stephen King gets a Marvel Make-over!

The Stand: No Man's Land

Writer: Stephen King [adapted by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa]

Artist: Mike Perkins

Published: Marvel, 2011

I seem to be reading a lot of adaptations lately.

I read The Stand way back in high school and I loved it. I can easily say it is one of my favourite books. The way King wove such an epic tale of good vs. evil, but at the same time, maintaining a level of intimacy with the reader that is rare. The characters are so realistic I sometimes find myself comparing them to people I know.

The adapter, Mr. Aguirre-Sacasa, is actually a screenwriter who has worked for HBO, which is promising. They have some good television. Artist Mike Perkins has previously won an and colourist Laura Martin worked on the first run of the ongoing Astonishing X-Men series, which I enjoyed immensely.

The basic storyline of The Stand is as follows: deadly virus escapes from military base in Nevada, kills 99% of people in the world, two mysterious figures [one representing good and the other, evil] gather followers around themselves to prepare for a climactic confrontation.

It spans thirty issues which have been collected in six trade paperbacks. I am reviewing the fifth out of those six, around the “gathers followers” part. I'll try not to give anything crucial away, as it is a tremendous read [at least the original, anyway] and highly recommended.

So, our merry band of survivors [the good guys] have gathered in Boulder, Colorado. They have begun rebuilding society, getting the power back on, cleaning up the bodies left by the plague, etc. Their leader, the venerable Abagail Freemantle, however, has left them for some soul-searching in the wilderness. She is opposed to their efforts at getting things back to normal because “God didn't bring you together to make a committee or a community...” She spends a couple weeks in the wild [a wee bit short of J.C.'s forty days and nights], only to return in her people's hour of need! !

The people of the Boulder Free Zone [as they have dubbed it] are mostly kind-hearted folk that just want to return to their simple lives. But there are agents of Randal Flagg AKA “the Dark Man” [bad guy boss, obv.] among them who seek to sabotage their efforts. Look out, Stu, Frannie, Larry and everybody else [it's a large cast]!

Obviously, they had to do some serious editing, as it is based on the unabridged version, which is well over 1000 pages. They did leave in one of my favourite parts: Stu's story about the time he met Jim Morrison, years after he supposedly “died”. Anyway, in the original, they had the luxury of fleshing out each character's inner monologue, whereas in the comic, it seems a lot more abrupt, jumping between POVs. “Stu thought this but Glen thought this.”

I think The Stand is one of those pieces of work that doesn't lend itself well to adaptations, comic book or otherwise. For example, the Dark Man: he is described as “a dark man with no face.” How does an artist draw that? He is as much a concept as a person. He is the embodiment of evil on Earth, appearing differently to different people [whatever they fear]. The effect would be similar on the reader, as the picture that their mind paints of the Dark Man would be different for each individual. Things like that give the book an atmosphere that is not easily recreated.

But, all things considered, they do an admirable job and I appreciate the effort. The artwork is quite good and has a suitable eeriness. Also, it was interesting to see the characters as someone else might imagine them. The chubby, troubled Harold looks like I imagined he would. As weird as it sounds, it was like seeing a friend I met online in person for the first time.

hi Harold!

I will say that it seems better than the TV mini-series that was made back in the mid-90s [with Molly Ringwald, of all people, as Frannie][also, the opening sequence scared the shit outta me when I was a kid, because the virology lab here in Winnipeg had just been built... I used to hold my breath whenever we drove past]. I would have to check out the other issues to confirm this hypothesis.

deadly cowbell

Whew, this was refreshingly brief!

Review #17: Bizarro am #1!

Superman: Escape from Bizarro World

Writer: various

Artist: various

Published: DC, 2008

In my mind, Superman is in a similar category as Captain America: this kind of bland, “boy scout”-ish personality, too busy doing the “right thing” to be truly interesting. In fact, I would go as far to say that Superman is sooo mediocre of a character, that all other comic book heros can be measured in relation to him. If a hero is less interesting, he's a crappy character; if more interesting, he's a good character. It's fitting, as he was the original superhero. Perhaps that's why I like Bizarro, as he adds a little pizazz to the Man of Steel.

Few characters in the DC universe are as odd as Bizarro. He is an imperfect clone of Superman, his imperfections being his chalk-white and rock-like skin and that he does everything backwards. Bizarro [sometimes referred to as Bizarro #1] is the creator of Bizarro World [AKA “Htrae”], a square planet revolving around a blue sun and home to a race of “bizarros” [duplications of the duplicate] who are all just as ass-backwards as the original. They speak in broken English and shun all things perfect and valuable in favour of the flawed and worthless.

Anyway, this here is a compilation of several Bizarro stories ranging from 1960 to 2007, the newest being the titular tale.

Escape from Bizarro World

Jonathan Kent [Supes' adoptive father] is kidnapped by Bizarro in some weird effort to get help to destroy his own world, where he is unhappy: his fellow bizarros have rejected him for trying to be a hero and make things "right". Supes shows up to save his pa and a brawl with bizarros ensues, as they mistake him for Bizarro. When they realize their goof, they refer to him as Bizarro Bizarro, which I thought was pretty funny.

So, Bizarro Lex Luthor approaches the weird citizens of Htrae with a “sekret wepin” to destroy Bizarro once and for all. Looks like some things haven't changed from Earth. The weapon is a bizarro version of Doomsday, who, as you may recall, famously killed Supes back in '93.

Arguably my favourite part: when the Bizarro Justice League shows up to “ruin the day”. Backwards versions of Batman, Wonderwoman, Flash, Hawkgirl and Green Lantern [Yellow Lantern][in another great moment, his Yellow Power Ring transports him against his will to Sinestro's HQ for ignoring previous summons], all of whom are completely useless. Nevertheless, Bizarro Doomsday is subdued.

Anyway, rather than help him destroy Bizarro World, Pa Kent comes up with a plan to redeem Bizarro in the eyes of his people: Superman attempts to bring order to the backwards planet, and when Bizarro stops him, the crowd hails him as “#1!” once again.

So: loved this story. Geoff Johns and Richard Donner not only stuff it with funnies, both large and small [just a tiny detail, but I couldn't get enough of Bizarro Luthor's sinister iteration of “hello” as a farewell to his victims], but they add some real poignant moments [Bizarro #1's intense desperation for companionship that drives him to create his world] that really bring the bizarros to life. The artwork fits perfectly, done by The Goon artist Eric Powell. It has a wonderful, goofy, cartoon-ish vibe, but retains Supes' classic, square-jawed look. Can't say enough good about this one.

The Son of Bizarro

For some weird reason, Bizarro and Bizarro-Lois Lane have a human-looking son. Two negatives make a positive? The Bizarro couple must tearfully give up their child at the demands of the bizarro people, because “him guilty of crime of being perfect”. He is put in a spaceship that accidentally ends up on Earth, similar to Supes' origin story.

He is discovered and brought to an orphanage where Linda Lee [the secret identity of Supergirl] works. She figures out that the baby has superpowers and, after seeking Superman's advice, tries to keep it a secret. Hilarity ensues! Actually, a series of dumb “close calls” ensue. In a really weird twist, a couple sent to adopt Baby Bizarro turn out to be robots [?] built by Supes to sneak him out of the orphanage. Mission accomplished, the robot couple promptly dispose of themselves in a bed of quicksand [??]. Baby chills in the Fortress of Solitude until Supergirl accidentally blows up some of her chemistry homework all over him, which somehow changes his appearance to that of a bizarro [???].

I swear, sometimes the characters in the story seem just as confused about what's going on as I am.

huh?

For brevity's sake, I can't get into how weird everything gets. Long story short, Bizarro finds out his son is on Earth, declares war on the planet, Supes saves the day and a Bizarro Supergirl is created and dies six pages later. “Poor creature! It's better this way!” Supes laments, clearly not giving a shit.

This one is definitely the weirdest of the bunch, but hey... that was the 60s. Funny fact: the penciller is a guy named Wayne Boring, and his generic 60s-era style reflects that.

The Mark of Bizarro

This 1984 tale starts off on a great note, with Bizarro growing tired of beating up his Bizarro Justice League friends. He wants to make a bad guy for them all to fight. There have been previous attempts, but they have all been disappointing [the Bizarro Joker is just sad all the time, as he is the only sane person on the planet]. They make a bizarro version of the android Amazo, a JLA foe known for his ability to “steal powers” from his opponents. Of course, being opposite from the original Amazo, he decides to go on a mission of goodwill, and give all the powers he steals to “needy”, non-powered folk.

Naturally, his desire to help and fix things makes him the perfect villain on Htrae. Bizarro #1 tricks him into giving him his powers back, and Bizarro Amazo [Bizazo?] flees to Earth to avoid further tricks. Bizarro gives chase to warn Supes about the rogue villain. Amazo wreaks havoc by giving powers to normal people who don't know how to control them, like Supes' pal Jimmy Olsen.

a very "comic book" moment

Supes and Bizarro manage to trick Bizarro Amazo into taking the powers and giving them back to their rightful owners on Htrae. In some wonderful bizarro-logic, to become the greatest villain on Htrae, one must have zero powers, so Bizarro Amazo takes it a step further and shuts himself off. Since he can never think or do anything again, by default, he becomes the greatest villain the planet has ever known. He is put in a glass case and idolized. “No wonder everyone admire him!” muses Bizarro Lois, “Us merely think stupid... him not think at all!”

I liked this one... it had it's proverbial ducks in a row more than the 60s story. It was still weird, but it made sense within that weirdness. Writer E. Nelson Bridwell seems to have a good grasp on all things Bizarro.

Funny fact: this issue was the first appearance of Yellow Lantern, making it way ahead of the actual creation of the Yellow Lanterns by Sinistro. Crazy.

The Mirror, Crack'd

As the serious/pretentious sounding name might indicate, we have entered a new phase of Bizarro. The differences between the 1984 and this 1986 issues are huge. The '84 take on Bizarro has more in common with the '60 than with the '86. The art is more modern and the tone is a lot less jolly. The “gritty” era brought on by Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns must have swept across the industry rather quickly.

After being created by Lex Luthor, a mute and surly-looking Bizarro escapes the lab and starts doing good deeds, even saving Lois Lane's sister from killing herself! Of course, it is misunderstood and people are horrified by its appearance. Except Lois' sister, who was recently blinded by chemicals! This story really makes an effort to portray our poor Bizarro as a “creature”, an “it” rather than a “him”, and not actually a living being, as Supes discovers.

"Bizarro smash!"

The story doesn't seem to be entirely canonical, as it actually shows Superman destroying Bizarro [good thing he's not alive, or that would be murder!] at the end, unless this was meant to happen before the current Bizarro was created. Or maybe it's one of those things that was retconned later. Anyway, Bizarro's body disintegrates into dust, which somehow restores Lucy Lanes' vision. This makes sense! NOT. Lame ending. This story kind of takes away the things that define Bizarro, like his Yoda-esque speech patterns and his child-like demeanor.

Overall, I liked these stories. They were hilarious at the best of times and delightfully nonsensical at the worst. The only time it didn't ring true was the attempt to give Bizarro a “super-serious make-over”. The nature of Bizarro demands silliness.

Until next time, hello.

Review #16: Movie Review #1

Captain America: The First Avenger

Writers: Chris Markus/Stephen McFeely

Director: Joe Johnston

Studio: Y'know, there are so many studios and companies involved in the making and distribution of a film and no one really cares, so I'm just gonna omit this part from any movie reviews.

I just watched the new Captain America flick the other night, so I figured, BLOG.

I had a few false starts writing this review, as my introduction paragraph kept turning into massive judgments about the American people. I would rather not get too crazy-political in a blog about comic books and crap, so I'll try to keep the review focused on the movie and not on our troubled neighbour to the south.

Anyway, Captain America: not a terribly interesting character to me. I've always thought that he was overrated and most of his popularity has to do not with his compelling story/personality/whatever, but with the fact that he has “America” in his name and he dresses like a flag. When Cap made his debut during WWII [famously punching Hitler in the face on the cover of Captain America Comics #1], he was as much a tool of propaganda as a comic book character. Has this changed over the years? Couldn't tell ya. I haven't read much Cap.

So, this brings us to the movie. Hollywood is not known for subtlety. I can imagine a Michael Bay-helmed Captain America film in which Cap shoves an exploding Constitution down Kim Jong Il's throat, pats Megan Fox on her perfectly-toned ass, then jumps a motorcycle off a cliff and into a local mom & pop diner and enjoys a refreshing Mountain Dew. God dammit, I hate Michael Bay.

Anyway, Captain America: The First Avenger was directed by Joe Johnston, who brought us Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and The Rocketeer. So, we know he is capable of producing a heartwarming and comedic family adventure, as well as a film adaptation of a comic book about fighting Nazis, respectively [also capable of producing box office poison, in the case of The Rocketeer].

Our writers are Chris Markus and Stephen McFeely, a team that previously wrote the new Chronicles of Narnia film series. Hm. Not terribly promising, but hey, let's find out.

It's 1942 and Steve Rogers is just a regular wimpy little guy who wants to join the U.S. Army. Well, “abnormally” wimpy, actually. The guy is so tiny! Actor Chris Evans plays our protagonist, and they did some crazy movie-ju-ju to make him look like the 97-pound weakling of Charles Atlas fame. People who have [unfortunately] seen him in the Fantastic Four movies will know that he is pretty built. In short, the effects are quite good.

Steve is continually rejected by the army for his physical issues, until he is one day approached by a U.S. military/German-defector scientist [Stanley Tucci], who offers him a a chance to serve. The catch: he has to undergo some experimental procedure with potential crummy side effects. So, he does, and everything turns out OK! He is now a 6-foot, all-American male model! *SWOON* goes British special agent Peggy Carter [Hayley Atwell], the love interest.

Dr. Scientist is killed by a Nazi infiltrator, and much of his equipment is destroyed, rendering the super-soldier experiment unrepeatable. Looks like Stevie is one-of-a-kind. Naturally, instead of sending him to the front lines, a savvy politician dresses him in spandex and takes him on tour so that he can sell war bonds to the American people. In a nice “meta” moment, we see Captain America comics being created in the wake of his popularity. WE HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE.

Eventually, Steve makes his way overseas to raise troop morale, but is seen by the soldiers as some namby-pamby dancing monkey. Realizing that he has to do more than smile and wave at crowds, and hearing that his best friend, Bucky Barnes, has been captured, he springs into action. Steve infiltrates a HYDRA [depicted as the scientific branch of the Third Reich, differing from the comics] base and, using his super-soldier powers, frees hundreds of POWs. It is then that he confronts his nemesis-to-be and leader of HYDRA, the RED SKULL [portrayed by the highly capable Hugo Weaving]. Red Skull escapes with his secret weapon, a weird cube of power that he found in Norway. Can Cap chase him down in time to save the world? Long answer: maybe! Short answer: yes.

"finally! my salt lick!"

I find a lot of comic book movies fail to get the casting right, but this one did quite well. The weakest link is probably Evans, and he's not even that bad, but I think I liked him better as a cocky asshole in Fantastic Four. Atwell, our leading lady, does a fine job, and there was some decent chemistry going on. They share a genuinely touching moment near the end.

The older group of actors were all great: the aforementioned Weaving, Stanley Tucci as Dr. Abraham Erskine and Tommy Lee Jones as Col. Phillips. One thing I hate about actors is their habit of talking up the amount of preparation that went into a role, when all they had was a tertiary part with a handful of lines. Here is a direct quote from Kenneth Choi, who played one of the soldiers that Steve frees from the HYDRA base [he's Japanese-American, BTW]:

“"[I] did a lot of WWII research especially in regards to the 'Nisei' soldiers, or Japanese-American soldiers. I wanted to get as much true, real-life information for a guy like Jim Morita fighting in WWII. I felt that if I had built a factual basis for him, I could then let go and permit the character to exist in the Marvel Universe, which allows for a lot of imaginative circumstances."

His character had maybe five lines, tops. If he really did that much research, he sure wasted his time.

Now, this is what Jones says about his character:

“[He's] the one you've seen in a thousand movies: the gruff, skeptical officer overseeing a team of talented, slightly sarcastic, specially talented soldiers."

and Tucci:

“I’ve always wanted to do a German accent.”

Refreshing honesty from some veteran actors.

I also enjoyed the inclusion of Howard Stark [Dominic Cooper] as one of the scientists working with the government to develop super-soldier serum. It isn't a large part, but it's important nonetheless, as he gives Cap his signature shield. This ties into the Iron Man films, where we see that Tony Stark [his son] is in possession of a copy of the shield. I love little details like that.

apparently they just give 'em away

I found the fight scenes to be typical Hollywood fare [so, unrealistic and not very exciting], with the exception a zero-gravity fight near the end. Also, I found it kind of lame that the Howling Commandos were represented by what I like to call “the International Super Best Friends!” A Brit, a Frenchman, a Japanese-American [Choi], an African-American and an Irish-American all hanging out and fighting Nazis together... really warms my heart, y'know? They did have some good one-liners, though.

So, this film won me over. It had good acting, a sense of humour [I heard the Wilhelm Scream at least once!], explosions, a bit of romance, and the filmmakers know when to reveal a bad guy's horribly scarred face and when to break the sexual tension.

Last note I made as I waited for the post-credit scene [a regular occurrence in the lead-up to The Avengers]: some character named Gilmore Hodge is played by the infinitely cooler-named LEX SHRAPNEL. Hilarious.

Review #15: What the Dickens?

Writer: Charles Dickens [adapted by Jen Green/Brigit Viney]

Artist: John Stokes

Published: Gale/Cengage Learning, 2010

I've never read any Charles Dickens. Shocking, I know. I have, however, seen The Muppet Christmas Carol and the South Park episode based on Great Expectations, but that was so long ago that I had forgotten everything except that there's a crazy old lady.

Dickens actually wrote the part of Bob Cratchit with a frog in mind

So, thanks to another comic book adaptation, I have now read Great Expectations.

Onward!

Meet Pip, the young orphan who will be our narrator. He lives with his bitchy sister and her husband, Joe, the local blacksmith. Pip is sent by his sister to the home of one Ms. Havisham, to play with her adopted daughter, Estella. Turns out, Ms. Havisham is an old, bitter woman because some guy left her at the alter years ago. She still wears her wedding dress and keeps the dinner table set up as it was on the day her heart was broken. Needless to say, she has issues. And she is determined, nay, adamant in her plans to pass these issues on to her daughter.

Because of the beautiful Estella's disdainful treatment of him, Pip becomes ashamed of his “common” status. He immediately gets his friend “Biddy” to begin tutoring him so that he can start down his path toward uncommonness. Over the following months, he continues going to Ms. Havisham's to play with Estella and falls in love with her, though she is cruel to him. Pip eventually becomes a blacksmith apprentice and stops going to see Ms. Havisham and Estella. He works for Joe for a few years, but he is still unsatisfied with life as a commoner.

bitch, please!

One day, a lawyer named Mr. Jaggers [Mick?] shows up to tell Pip that he has a secret benefactor who will fund his journey into gentlemanhood. So, Pip moves to London, where he lives with a Mr. Pocket, his instructor on gentlemanliness. Pip not only learns to be a gentleman, but he begins to learn about Ms. Havisham's mysterious past, as well as the identity of his mysterious benefactor. So much mystery!

huh?

Seeing as how it was written around the same time as Pride & Prejudice, it is not hard to draw some parallels. The language was very similar, of course, but I found Dickens less stuffy. Austen was born into a higher social class, so it makes sense that her language would be more pretentious. “Good manners” and all that jazz are a central theme in both, but P&P operates only from an insider's perspective. P&P was about social class in the same way that a private jet is about air travel: all it had was rich people problems, without any lower-class context for comparison. Like I said, Austen was probably unfamiliar with the struggles of being “common”, which is understandable, but it makes for a one-dimensional world.

Dickens' world has things like “intrigue”, “characters with depth”, and “stuff that is identifiable for a modern young man”. I could actually identify with the characters in this story. P&P was about rich people getting married. Being neither rich nor interested in marriage [like a friend of mine recently asked me, “would you cross the street if statistics told you half of people who cross the street are hit by cars?”], I was bored out of my gourd. Also, there was never any doubt in my mind about how P&P was going to end: everyone is married and happy. If it had ended any other way, it would have been boring AND depressing. And who wants to read that?

Dickens is more interested in the personal costs of status. Pip gives up a life that he may have been happy with, had he not fallen in love with a girl who rejects him because of his class. When Pip discovers the truth about his benefactor, he learns that some things are better left unknown. And by the end, he learns that despite everything, people can still change for the better. That's character growth. I just didn't see that in P&P.

Man, why do I keep hating on Jane Austen? Sorry, Jane Austen... you did your best.

Anyway, if there's one thing I took away from Great Expectations, it's that class is a meaningless social construct.

The artwork was OK, but it had a certain generic quality to it. I found that some of the characters looked too similar, like the artist had five different designs and had to keep reusing them. I enjoyed how the text itself is lowercase to show when a speaker is whispering, and the comic-standard ALL CAPS FOR NORMAL SPEECH AND YELLING.

well, I thought they all looked similar, anyway...

There were a few parts that I suspect had more significance in the novel, like when Pip falls asleep by the shore when he is pondering his new life that awaits him in London, or the dinner party at the Pocket residence when the cook is drunk. They seem like odd little interjections that were likely fleshed out in the original, but perhaps could have been left out of the adaptation.

Also, I learned in my research that Dickens changed his original ending because people thought it was too much of a downer. I thought that was funny. Upon reading both, I prefer the downer ending.

So, I was pleasantly surprised at how non-boring this book was. You could say I had some... NOT-SO-GREAT EXPECTATIONS!! BAHAHAHA.

On that note, I think I need to leave the house, as I have not yet done that today.

Review #14: Vlad is Bad, Baby

Vlad the Impaler: The Man Who Was Dracula

Writer: Sid Jacobson

Artist: Ernie Colón

Published: Plume, 2009

Welcome to history class, children.

I have always loved learning about history, and any comics that facilitate that process have my eternal gratitude. I have also always been a fan of any comics that are used as learning tools, like literary adaptations for the short attention spans of today. I never would have read Pride & Prejudice if it hadn't been in comic book form. I have just read Charles Dickens' Great Expectations in preparation for a forthcoming review. I also read Don Quixote [IN FRENCH, I might add] when I was in junior high, many years ago, another thing that would never have been achieved without comic book adaptations of literary classics. Huzzah!

Anyway, this comic walks us through the life and times of one Vlad “The Impaler” Dracul, who, as most learned folk will know, was the inspiration for everyone's favourite vampire. No, not Edward, dammit [I'm leaning more toward team Jacob anyway]. I'm talking about good ol' Dracula.

Vlad was born in 1431 to Vlad II Dracul and Cneajna of Moldavia. [BTW, “Cneajna” was rated as the 2nd sexiest name in 15th-century Moldavia.] His father was known as “the Dragon” [“Dracul”] and “Dracula” actually means “son of the Dragon”. Being a member of a Wallachian noble line, Daddy Vlad's life was full of political maneuvering, shaky alliances and shady deals. A lot of the time, he was in the midst of outright warfare, as Wallachia and the surrounding regions were in a constant state of upheaval. With the Christian kingdoms to the West and the Muslim Ottoman Empire to the East, his land was often a battleground for the opposing religions, as well as for other local nobles that wanted the throne. Vlad II managed to nab reign of the country for two periods, 1436 to 1442 and 1443 to 1447, which is a long-ass time, considering the circumstances. The Ottomans backed Vlad II's claim to the throne, despite the fact that he had allies in the Catholic Church. Daddy Vlad was clearly playing both sides. Sooo, it's not terribly surprising that he was eventually killed by a rival Hungarian nobleman, John "the White Knight" Hunyadi [sweet nickname, but I keep reading his surname as Hyundai], who was a staunch opponent of the Ottomans.

So, the son: Vlad III was actually raised in Adrianople in what is now Turkey, as Big Poppa had given his two youngest sons to the Ottoman sultan in a gesture of goodwill. Vlad III was beaten often for disrespecting his caretakers and begins to show sociopathic behaviour from a young age, murdering animals for the pleasure it gives him. Upon reaching manhood, and hearing of his father's death, he takes a bunch of Ottoman soldiers and marches to reclaim Wallachia. His brother, Radu, is far more mellow, and actually converts to Islam and hangs around the palace with Prince Mustafa, the sultan's son.

Vlad manages to take Târgoviște, the capital city, but is quickly driven out. He flees to neighbouring Moldavia with his loyal soldier, Stefan, who has family there. Vlad starts whoring it up but eventually ends up marrying Stefan's sister, Ilona, though he cheats on her constantly.

Eventually, Bulgarian and Hungarian emissaries come to an agreement with Vlad: they are unhappy with the current ruler of Wallachia and will support Vlad in his efforts to reclaim the throne. Vlad takes back his country and begins instilling law and order in his infamous way: impaling thousands and thousands of people. Modern historians put the body count at between 40,000 and 100,000. Yikes.

Eventually, Vlad's craziness gets the better of him and he stops sending tribute to the Ottomans. In return, the Ottomans send a massive army, led by his brother, Radu, to take the land from him. Radu is successful, and almost kills Vlad in the process, but Stefan pleads for Vlad's life. Radu lets them both go, but Vlad, angry at having to be saved, kills Stefan. Also, Ilona throws herself from the castle window once she sees the Ottoman army approaching.

What follows is more mad scrambling for the throne and power changing hands a bunch of times over the years. Eventually, Vlad gets his shit together and rallies some more Hungarian allies to take the power back. He does, but is killed shortly after by the sultan's troops and his head is taken to Constantinople.

I was wondering how true to real events this book was, so I checked Wikipedia, and it seems to be fairly accurate. The authors handled a convoluted history fairly well, but they do simplify it. Of course, there is no mention in the article of Vlad killing any animals at a young age, but it does mention many of the things above that would have laid the foundation of the hateful person he was to become. The article tells of the hatred he had toward the Ottomans for the abuse he endured, toward the Hungarians for killing his father and even toward his father for giving him to the Ottomans in the first place. The guy was like a hate machine.

you might be a dick if you looked like this, too

The character of Stefan seems to have not existed and the Ilona from the book is likely a combination of Vlad's second and third wives, one of which did hurl herself out a window. Vlad also had a handful of children [and probably plenty of bastard children] and, as it turns out, is actually a distant ancestor of Prince Charles! Not featuring the multiple wives/children kind of makes sense, considering that they didn’t really have much effect on his life as a tyrant. Vlad only looks out for one guy: Vlad.

Anyway, to draw some parallels to the last review, we are again given the frame narrative treatment, but from an unseen [until the end!] narrator. And the gore... as you might expect from a story about “The Impaler”, this little bio is chalk full of blood and guts. Conan the Barbarian has nothing on this guy.

It reminds me of the pre-Comics Code Authority horror/fantasy/whatever books, with its macabre vibe, over-the-top violence, and penchant for topless women. Also, the use of exclamation points in the exposition! Somewhat of an old-school technique, as that sort of thing is not generally viewed as a modern, mature stylistic choice.

The artwork was a bit all over the place, some of the drawings looking like half-assed doodles and some being excellent. Despite the inconsistent quality, the fast and loose style fits with the over-exuberant writing.

Overall, I enjoyed this book and I learned a lot about our dear friend The Impaler [hey, that was my nickname in high school!][the previous statement is so far off the mark that Far Off the Mark should have been my nickname in high school].

COMIC CON!

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen! The much-anticipated audio/video Comic Con experience!

On Saturday, Oct. 29th, I went to the 2011 Central Canada Comic Con, held at the Convention Centre in downtown Winnipeg. Accompanying me were my friends Ryan and Klayton. It was a first for all of us and we had a lot o' fun.

Ryan acted as camera man and he edited this sweet video of our shenanigans.

Enjoy!

[clicking anywhere in this post will take you to the video on youtube]

[the file was too large for my mere 100 MB limit on Blogger :( ]